Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We don't watch enough power rangers
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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