We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You dont lie about slip and slides
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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