Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
