There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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