We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
