Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
