I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
