At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He has the fingertips of a God
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