I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize