O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
