im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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