I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
