I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
