i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
smell my finger.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
