who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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