I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
