I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
