How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The air was thick with penises
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
