I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
