I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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