i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You were trust falling into bushes
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
