hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
