Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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