I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
