never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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