Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
