i'm lost and i look like a hooker
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
