PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
