I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
