she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
