my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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