Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
