This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
