I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize