capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
