i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
