two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
