the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
