I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
