hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
