She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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