I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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