i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
