i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
