I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize