Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
