So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
