the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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