I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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