the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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