I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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