Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
