i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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