remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
