When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
