I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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