Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
