Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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