we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
